My "computer" bag.

CrossFit teaches us to be ready for the unknown and unknowable. I guess I’ve taken that to heart somewhat. My computer bag contains everything but the computer. Unless you count the iPad. But it does contain everything I might need in an low-grade emergency. Bandages, athletic tape, books, pens, ground coffee (yes, ground coffee), weapons (non-lethal), overnight garments, toothpaste, ibuprofen and can forget the gymnastics rings and jumprope. You never know when a wod will jump off.

What’s in your bag?

Metcon (am):
“Camille”
AMRAP 8 min
3 Snatch Complexes @ 125#
3 Wall Climbs

Metcon (pm):
Teams of 2
AMRAP in 5 min of:
5 Push Jerks @ 155#
Rest 2 min
AMRAP in 5 min of:
5 Deadlifts @ 225#
Rest 2 min
AMRAP in 5 min of:
5 Supine ring pulls

Result:
AM metcon: 27 reps
PM metcon: 317 reps

Over the last two years I’ve really struggled with the amount of time I spend on thinking about and engaging in Crossfit. The time I want to spend on it is not the time I have. I’ve struggled with this balance for over two years. My time with my girls is hard to come by and I find myself having to sacrifice other things, especially Crossfit, in order to just hang with them.

I was supposed to meet friends at the box to do the pictured wod. But I also had to get my girls ready for school. To be able to do both I had to enlist the help of my father to drop the girls off to school. Feeling guilty about my selfish decision to Crossfit instead of dropping my girls to their school steps, I dilly-dallied this morning, hanging out with the girls a few more minutes before I left for the box. As a result I was late to wod with my homies. So instead, the wod became my warmup, greatly modified.

Instead I decided to re-do “Camille”. The first time around I did it with friends at Brazen Athletics sort of half-assed. In fact, I wasn’t even going to do it then. But it was something about seeing my friends attempt the wod, suffer through it, miss some reps and then be blasted at the end, that made me want to jump in. It’s one of the weirdest things about this Crossfit community. Things you never have done or just unlikely to do, you do because this community provides one of the greatest support systems I’ve ever seen.

This morning for instance, I had no plans of re-doing “Camille” but my cronies stayed behind just to cheer me on while I did the wod. I had to do it at that point. Within in the wod I wanted to stop several times saying to myself, “I don’t want to do this.” But the voices in the background saying, “C’mon Ben!” motivated me to continue. In football we call the crowd The 12th Man. When the 12th man is making noise he can motivate the team to extraordinary feats. In every Crossfit box around the country, there’s the 12th man. Some voice or voices you hear bellowing from the corner urging you to keep pushing. I love this community. Sometimes stealing a little time away from parenting feels worth it.

All the cool kids are doing it so I figured I’d join in on the fun.

Today’s wod:

Strength
Front squat at 5 – 5 – 3 – 3 – 2 – 2

Metcon:
4 rounds
3 rope climbs, 15′
15 static lunges @ 95#

Result:
Strength: 255/255/275/275/305/305(1)
Metcon: 6:30

I haven’t done any sort of strength based squat in a while. So this felt good. But it’s clear I need to build my strength back up in this area. I think a strong squat is essential in Crossfit as well as life.

I failed my last rep and I could feel my knees buckle in a little. My coach pointed out that little flaw to me. So next time I’ll bring my feet in a little and hopefully that will help me out with my knees.

The lunges in the metcon were a challenge especially after the squats. But I’ve worked hard on my footwork with rope climbs and feel comfortable with the movement now. It used to be I could only climb the rope using all arms. It goes to show you a little perseverance goes a long way.

Am I fat?

You don’t know it but what a ridiculous question. And the only reason you’re asking is because you think you are fat. No matter what number pops up on that scale, it will not convince you otherwise. Whether the number that pops up is “high” or “low”, you will see the phrase “big fat fatty”. But don’t confuse this for chatizing. I don’t blame you for asking a silly question. I don’t even blame you for your self-defeating self-perception. You been conditioned.

Throughout your life, you’ve been sent subliminal and overt messages by a plethara of sources; movies, magazines, your girlfriends, your mother, your rabbi, your coach and I’m sure many other well meaning but ignorant folk. Their message to you has been you should be obsessed with your weight. These messages even go as far as to have you believe your self-worth is inversely correlated to the number that shows up on the scale. The smaller the number on the scale the better the person you are. But let me let you in on a little secret. The number on that scale, no matter what it says, is a crock of shit! And the question, “Am I fat?”, that prompts you to step on to such an abominable device in the first place is a bigger crock of shit.

STOP!

You’re asking the wrong damn question. Change your benchmark. Your self worth is not, should not, and was never related to you’re weight. Here’s a better question and one more likely in line with your core values. Ask  yourself,

Am I fit?

Weight, in and of itself, is a useless benchmark. However, whether or not you are fit says something about the quality you can extract from your life and the work you have put into it. Are you fit? Perhaps a harder question to answer but a more telling one. Can you walk several flights of stairs without breathing heavy? Can you carry your groceries in one trip from the car instead of two? Can you play with your children for more than five minutes at a time? Can you sleep more than six hours straight? Or make love more than six minutes straight?

Better yet. Raise your benchmark. Do not settle for measuring yourself by physical standards. Those are easy to achieve. Yes, consistently eat meat and veggies and exercise three times a week  and you will get fit. It’s easy. What’s hard is being, with consistency, the kind of person The Universe demands you to be. Instead of asking yourself, “Am I fat?” or even “Am I fit?”, ask yourself things like am I a person of integrity? Am I a person who is worthy of trust? Am I a person who is generous beyond reason? Am I a person who can forgive when wronged and ask for forgivness when I have wronged someone? Am I a person who works through adversity? Am I a person who loves my fellow humans?

Forget the scale that simply measure the weight of your body. It’s meaningless. Instead, get on that internal scale that measures the weight of your life and the contribution  your making to others’.

Watch more video of The 2011 Reebok CrossFit Games on sicfit.com

source: Alessia Caiazzo, courtesy of CrossFit.com

You exist in the subconscious without opposition. It’s but a quick trip to the tongue, where you roll off with ease. And with no real impediment, you penetrate the minds of those within earshot. But the utterance of you is not even necessary. You seep from the pores of those who let you live in them. You hang in the air like a foul stench. A simple waving of the hand in front of our nose doesn’t always rid you. You are resilient. You are very convincing. So much “evidence” proves you right. And before any of us know it, we are a slave to you.

To jump, to run, to improve, to love, to live, to earn, to forgive, to forget, to change. You will convince us none of this is within our grasp. To be intelligent, to recover, to heal, to be strong, to let ourselves cry, to take risk, to be happy, to be extraordinary. You will keep us from a life fulfilled if we allow you.

But the Universe is beautiful and if we listen closely will reveal the truth. You have no power over us. The evidence you have given us is false. At least the evidence we have allowed ourselves to see. But the reality is there are those of us who prove you wrong everyday. Some of them are doing mind boggling things with the same abilities we all have. Some are doing extraordinary things with every “ability” taken away from them. Sometimes we surprise ourselves and the little eternal light that lives within us all, allows us to see the possibilities and not be buried by the doubts. And it is from these sources the rest of us will be inspired to accomplish all it is you’ve convinced us we could not.

So here’s an emphatic double middle finger up to you. You have no power over us. We can. I can.

F*ck you, “Can’t”!

Post-WOD Position

I have not been able to get the box lately. Lately encompasses since The Games this past July. Life (life and life) outside of CrossFit demanded and still demands my attention. The guilt of being away from the gym is great albeit highly irrational. I am not paid to CrossFit. Nor does CrossFit bring me love and affection. It doesn’t feed me or take me out to the movies or rub my earlobs to relax me after a trying day.

In fact, CrossFit many times treats me bad. It makes my lungs cry. It fills me with self-doubt and self-loathing about my physical abilities. It takes my money. It makes my shoulder, and my ankle and my neck hurt. And sometimes it’s WODs just downright hurt my feelings. But nonetheless, I feel like I have neglected CrossFit. Irrational.

But instead of dwelling on my clearly misguided guilt about being away from it, I’ve decided to call my sabatical my CrossFit off-season. Every athlete at any level needs at least three months off. I’ve taken four. A little extra never hurt, right? So I’m committed again. November 1 was the beginning of my personal CrossFit season. And the first order of business is and has been setting some “Ridiculous CrossFit Goals” for the upcoming 2011 year. Some are not so much goals as they are the intention to perform certain acts. Either way, I’m putting it out there.

I call them ridiculous because there is no reason, given all I said CrossFit takes from me and all it fails to give, I should be at all concerned with settng the particular goals I’ve set. But I’m compelled. The explanation escapes me. It just calls me. So in the law of attraction spirit of asking the universe for what it is you want, I’ve decided to share just a few with the internet universe and see what I attract back.

1. Compete in the 2011 NorthEast Regional and place in the top 16. Probably the most ridiculous of my goals, this would honestly give me the most satisfaction if I accomplished it. Why? Well, for one, I think I’m at a decided disadvantage to other high level CrossFitters in a few key areas: age, access and aerobic capacity. Most of these guys at this level are in their late 20′s. I’m not. ‘Nuff said. Most of these guys have 24/7 access to equipment and facilities. I don’t. And most of the successful guys have a tremendous aerobic ability. Milers in weightlifters bodies. I have never had that ability and have a difficult time developing it.

2. Grease my wheel. More intention than goal, I have to nurture what I’m good at. I may not be as young, have as much time or have the lungs of some others. But I have speed (still), strength (more than most) and knowledge. So over this CF season I plan to,

a) perform two speed/track workouts per week based on CF Endurance as long the temperature is over 40 degrees, and

b)  squat, clean and snatch with, in the words of Mike Tyson, “bad intentions”, and

c) stick to a strict Paleo/Athlete diet except for the occassional buttered bagel.

Bottom line is, I want to be impressively fast and impressively strong and pretty damn fit. I want to allow my body to do what it’s telling me it wants to do. I’m never going to beat, almost anyone, in a 5k. But those same folks will hardly come close to me in a 100m sprint or a bear complex. Now how that translates to 1 to 10, clean and jerk at 155# with a round of “Cindy” is anyone’s guess.

3. Get sponsored. I see what’s happening in CrossFit. It’s becoming a professional sport, mainly through sponsorships. So I want in on the action. Syn Martinez of the Afro Brutality crew has been kind enough to allow me to wear some of his gear. But I want more. And while others may go the traditional route, being sponsored by sports apparel and supplement companies directly, I’m looking for sponsorship from my friends, family and readers. One dollar at a time. I’m going to put a link to Paypal on this and another site I’ll set up specifically for this purpose. So if you want to donate some change, feel free. What do I plan on using the proceeds for? Shoes maybe? Who knows. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Of course I have more CF goals, like getting Level I certified, but I won’t list them all. The main one is I just want to have fun with this.

The first time I visited his office, I asked had he read all those books. Without hesitation he said, “Yes.” I don’t know why but it struck me as one of the best things I’d ever heard. The pursuit of knowledge in and of itself just appealed to me. I thought to myself, “I want to know all there is to know about a bunch of stuff. I’m going to have a library like this too.” Over the next twenty years (sigh!), I’ve accumulated a hodgepodge collection of books, newspapers and magazines. And yes, I’ve read most of these items in whole and all at least in part.

A partial glimpse of my library

As was my goal, over the years I’ve accumulated a lot of knowledge over a modest array of topics. However, as I’ve gotten older and perhaps a natural byproduct of doing so, I’ve become less interested in learning about a wide range of topics. I haven’t thought about that change too deeply, but every now and again the thought pops in my head as to why this might be so. I’ve brushed it off as simply being in a reading slump or being occupied with other things. But I’m also filled with the thought it’s more to it.

Recently I watched (re-watched) the movie “The Edge” starring Sir Anthony Hopkins (Charles) and Alec Baldwin (Robert). Charles was a well read and broadly knowledgeable billionaire. In one scene he speaks about skills applicable to survival in the northern wilderness with an innkeeper, while visiting Alaska. The innkeeper asks if Charles has a lot of experience in the wilderness and Charles explains, with some self-disappointed, his knowledge is theoretical. In an earlier scene, when Charles was complemented by Robert for this broad knowledge, Charles explained he had no practical use for his knowledge. Clearly, Charles despite being well accomplished, was less impressed with himself than others were with him having failed, in his mind, to accomplish the “unequivocal” act in his life. (Like becoming a billionaire wasn’t enough.)

As the movie progresses Charles, Robert and Robert’s aide (played by Harold Perrineau of Lost and Oz fame) are put in a situation where Charles’ theoretical knowledge is put to the test. Without giving the movie away (it has several other sub-plots and is definitely worth a Netflix), Charles experiences some success in converting the theoretical to the practical. When it’s all said and done, it’s only after he’s put to these tests that he feels any sense of real accomplishment.

When I saw this movie in its theatrical release I failed to fully understand the nuances of what Charles was going through. His feeling of defeat despite being extraordinarily accomplished simply wasn’t fulfilling. He needed to test the knowledge he had in the real world. In a swift rush of “Ah-ha!”, I identified the couldn’t-put-my-finger-on-it feeling I was having. I have a bunch of knowledge but I have failed to practically apply much of it. Thus there is this bubbling need in me to DO instead of just KNOW. Basically,

Books is for reading, life is for doin’.

As I approach a milestone age for me and with the next decade on the horizon, my life will become a grand lab experiment. I have the knowledge, I know what to do, now it’s time, it’s past time, to do it.

Ben doing a muscle up

Just an excuse to post a pic of me doing CrossFit. What’s CrossFit you ask? In less than 100 words, CrossFit is:

Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat. Practice and train major lifts: Deadlift, clean, squat, presses, C&J, and snatch. Similarly, master the basics of gymnastics: pull-ups, dips, rope climb, push-ups, sit-ups, presses to handstand, pirouettes, flips, splits, and holds. Bike, run, swim, row, etc, hard and fast. Five or six days per week mix these elements in as many combinations and patterns as creativity will allow.Routine is the enemy. Keep workouts short and intense. Regularly learn and play new sports.

- Coach Glassman, CrossFit Founder

Oh, and don’t pay attention to the ashy knees.

Maria... working; photo courtesy: Guerrilla Fitness

Suzanne Somers has a goal. She wants to be sexy and sultry and still looking like she’s in her 40′s at the ripe old age of 110. But her path to get there is somewhat unusual.

Suzanne’s path, featured in Newsweek magazine with a cover that read, “Crazy Talk: Oprah, Wacky Cures and You”, was quite amusing. The article chronicled Oprah’s guests, Suzanne among them, and their questionable health and fitness advice. I think what the article correctly points out is these folks’ mere appearance on Oprah’s show lend them instant credibility. It’s a testament to Oprah’s influence. An influence surpassed by very few.

In particular the article talks about Suzanne and her, to put it mildly, alternative approach to staying youthful including inserting hormones directly into her vagina. The article clearly paints Suzanne and many other celebrity and pseudo-health care professional guests of Oprah as a little wacky to say the least.

What’s clearly evident, and the article only confirms this, is that we are all looking for answers. But there is something peculiar about the human condition where we will shun the simple for the complex. Seems to me, Suzanne and Oprah’s typical guest and Oprah fans are either touting or looking for a magic pill. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not picking on Oprah and her followers. They reflect the thoughts and desires of most of us – we want the easy way out. When it comes to our bodies and our longevity, this is especially true. For women who want to take a few years off their appearance, Oprah will have some dude come on her show willing to sew, with a needle and thread, someones face tighter. But I’ll let you go read the article.

There are plenty of healthy and youthful looking people in the world. And the vast majority of them have followed some similar path to getting there. What is the common denominator?

Work.

It’s pretty much that simple. Like Suzanne, I want to live to 110 years old. I want to stay young and sexy too. In fact, what I really want is the body of my youth – the six-pack abs, the buns of steel, the speed of a gazelle and the endurance of well, a 21-year-old. But I’m convinced getting to that ripe old age, and looking good while I do it, will not be easy. I believe it will take some work. In fact, most of us who have been successful at anything have worked for it. But I’m willing to do it. I’m aware my goal may be lofty given where I was then versus where I am now. I rarely work out and hate to diet and I have these things lovingly called “handles” around my waistline. Not to mention I’m older than the number on my college football jersey (#37), entering what actuarial scientists call, “middle-age”. But I think it can be done. All it will take is work. There is no secret ingredient. It’s just work. Simple, but not easy, work.

How will I work toward my goal of perpetual young-boy health and sexiness? Here is my formula distilled into four steps.

Move. Eat. Rest. Repeat.

This stuff is nothing new. And the “work” involved does not include looking for a magic pill. This ain’t rocket science and it doesn’t take 60 supplements a day or eating nothing but maple syrup and lettuce or some other cock-eyed diet.

Move, Eat, Rest, Repeat is so simple yet few will do it. How many of us are willing to push iron ala squatting many pounds greater than our bodyweight, repeatedly? How many of us voluntarily run in shitty weather fast and far enough that our lungs start feeling like they’re on fire? How many of us are willing to eat the foods that are good for us but boring? Or get even six hours sleep let alone eight? But this is the exact formula that nearly everyone who is healthy and fit has followed.  The particulars (How do you move? What do you eat? How much do you rest? How often to do you repeat?) are almost beside the point.

Don’t get me wrong. Like I said earlier, I’ve been avoiding the work for a while. But some recent news (which I will get to in another post) made me realize I was not only failing me. I was failing The Babies. I have failed to instill in them, Move, Eat, Rest, Repeat and it’s affected their health as well.

No more. I am on a mission. I know the work that needs to be done. It’s past time to do it.