Category — Buttered Bagels

breakfast of champions… sort of.

Just a thought. But the dude with the XXL one-pack, ordering the plain egg white omelette and raisin bran muffin, might think twice about telling the dude with the six-pack that bacon is unhealthy. I’m just saying.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you have to look a certain way or possess a certain something to know what you’re talking about. Not at all. [Digression: The one-time Miami Dolphins kicking coach, never actually kicked a ball because he was bound to a wheelchair due to cerebral palsy. His kickers were All-Pros.] What I’m saying is you have to know what you’re talking about, to know what you’re talking about. Too often, folks are ready to go off half-cocked and shout advice or declare a position having done no reading or research from credible sources. Or even for one second carefully mulled over the information in front of them. Information floats in the air, penetrates their ears, gets passed around like one of those funny hand-rolled cigarattes and it becomes “common knowledge”. Eventually, everyone knows you’re not supposed to do this or that, or that thing over there causes cancer or take this and you’ll get all the girls. Whatever, man.

In my humble opinion, if you’re going to share your info, at least have tested it in the world or on yourself. Has the maple syrup and lemon juice diet helped you get a body like Jessica Biel? If it hasn’t, and you thought or were told it would, you have to question the diet. Did flipping single family homes make you yacht, private plane and trips to the French Riviera rich? Or did it leave you with a negative net worth? Either way, do your research. Experiment. Before you share.

The ironic thing is had my friend in line been a Paleo Pusher, he would have attacked my meal from the butter-loaded bagel angle. He would have told me that Paleolithic man would never eat bread and we are not built to do so. He would have said, bagels (wheat, gluten, et. al.) are a slow death and butter only hastens the inevitability. If I was in the mood, which I wasn’t with the bacon dude this morning, I might have asked Mr. P. Pusher, “Are you sure Paleo man never never EVER ate bread? Are you sure? I mean do we even know what Paleo man was let alone what he ate? Is butter really all that bad for you?”

Hopefully, Mr. P. Pusher would have based his viewpoint on something he read and experimented with instead of hearing it from the guy who heard it from the guy at some other guy’s son’s bar mitzvah. Hopefully too he’d be open to an opposing point of view and open to testing his presently held belief. Had the bacon dude asked he would have learned, I’ve been through the internal bacon battle and back. I’ve done the research and the experimentation on myself. I have eaten it and not. Praised it and scorned it. And after the long drawn tug of war, what I’ve concluded is, life is just better with bacon!

Now, my battle is with bagels (grains, wheat, whatever…). Butter-loaded bagels. With mounting evidence against continuing my relationship with my beloved, I have to consider the possibility she is no good for me. But, I will not just except what the dude, who knows the dude, who knows the bar mitzvah dude says. I’m doing the research and the experimentation before I make any judgment or completely break it off. Until such time, if it ever comes, we will go on the occassional date.

The gift giving season is upon us and if you’re like me this time of year gives you as much anxiety as it does joy. For me at least, there is some guilt associated with taking gifts from my loved ones when all I really want is to spend some QT with them. For me, I’d rather have their time than some token. I feel like their time is worth so much more. Then there’s the other side of the coin. Finding that perfect gift for those I love so dearly. The process can be an extremely stressful situation. Most of that stress, at least for me, is wrapped up in notion that whatever gift I give, it can never represent what I truly feel for the receiver. But I cannot help it. I want the receiver to feel I care deeply and if I could I would wrap that in a pretty box and put a bow on it.

There’s a simple solution to all this holiday stress. Just tell me what you want! Kids have no problem writing or telling their wish list. So why can’t we adults do the same? And don’t say, “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything” or “Whatever you get is fine”. Can you spell bull-ish? Remember the Hide-Your- House-Key-In-A-Rock I got for you or the Never Ending Candle Bowl? You hated those gifts. So just tell me what you want and it will make both our lives simpler. I know there’s only a few days left ’til the big day, but there’s still time.

Even though I stress out about getting my peeps gifts, I don’t stress about what I will get. I could not possibly care less. If I see everyone around me smiling and happy and stuffed from sweet potato pie, then I’m happy. I get things you can’t put a value on, every day. (Sometimes I forget but I eventually remember. Thanks fam.) So when I say, “You don’t have to get me anything” or “Whatever you get me is fine”, I really truly mean it. You’ve already given me so much. Like many of the single dads I talk to, we have an appreciation for the little things and just want those things to remain intact. Being with our family is the perfect gift.

But… (did you see it coming?)

We single dads are a caring lot and know you might be stressing out about getting us a gift, despite our most convincing arguments we have all we want. So, I’ve decided to put together a short list of items that ANY single dad would want. Rest assured, most of us would be more than happy to get one just of these items and not necessarily on the big day. So feel free, family and friends, to pool your resources and buy his gift after the big day when everything is properly priced at deep discounts. The single dad in your life will feel less guilty accepting his gift. To the list:

1. Olympic weightlifting shoes or…

source: Rogue Fitness

There is no way any self-respecting father wouldn’t appreciate the proper footwear designed to assist him in lifting heavy items. Sure, he can get by doing that stuff barefoot or in his old sneaks from college, but I’m sure he would appreciate the hard soled support Olympic weightlifting shoes provide. And given is low-key nature, he isn’t too particular about which kind you get him, he’d be appreciative in any circumstance but man those Nike Romaleos look mighty fine. [Read more →]

Washing the kids' clothes.

My dryer broke down a few weeks back and I’m so backed up on washing clothes. Why haven’t I fixed the dryer yet? Well, it isn’t that I haven’t tried. It simply needs one small part to be replaced. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to replace the thing with a new dryer just for one small $30 part. (Although I’ve set a new washer and dryer in my sights for a couple of years out.) I haven’t replaced the part because the manufacturers made the faulty part in question nearly impossible to reach without having the hand size of a small child or taking the entire machine apart. I will fix it eventually. In the meantime I’ve been trekking to the local laundromat.

At first I hated it. I thought it akin to having to take the city bus to work, another activity I’m not a fan of. But after several trips, I’ve come to enjoy it a little. There something about the hum of the machines, the smell of fabric softener and bleach and the spinning of the clothes that is both relaxing and hypnotic. It’s like a short mental retreat now. I’ll take my coffee, a book, and plan on enjoying an hour or two of therapy disguised as washing, drying and folding.

Maria... working; photo courtesy: Guerrilla Fitness

Suzanne Somers has a goal. She wants to be sexy and sultry and still looking like she’s in her 40′s at the ripe old age of 110. But her path to get there is somewhat unusual.

Suzanne’s path, featured in Newsweek magazine with a cover that read, “Crazy Talk: Oprah, Wacky Cures and You”, was quite amusing. The article chronicled Oprah’s guests, Suzanne among them, and their questionable health and fitness advice. I think what the article correctly points out is these folks’ mere appearance on Oprah’s show lend them instant credibility. It’s a testament to Oprah’s influence. An influence surpassed by very few.

In particular the article talks about Suzanne and her, to put it mildly, alternative approach to staying youthful including inserting hormones directly into her vagina. The article clearly paints Suzanne and many other celebrity and pseudo-health care professional guests of Oprah as a little wacky to say the least.

What’s clearly evident, and the article only confirms this, is that we are all looking for answers. But there is something peculiar about the human condition where we will shun the simple for the complex. Seems to me, Suzanne and Oprah’s typical guest and Oprah fans are either touting or looking for a magic pill. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not picking on Oprah and her followers. They reflect the thoughts and desires of most of us – we want the easy way out. When it comes to our bodies and our longevity, this is especially true. For women who want to take a few years off their appearance, Oprah will have some dude come on her show willing to sew, with a needle and thread, someones face tighter. But I’ll let you go read the article.

There are plenty of healthy and youthful looking people in the world. And the vast majority of them have followed some similar path to getting there. What is the common denominator?

Work.

It’s pretty much that simple. [Read more →]

I have been really trying to get into this metaphysical thing. You know. The idea tha we are all connected. The idea there is a reality beyond what is perceptible to the our tangible senses. The idea we need only ask for what it is we want and we will receive it. Sometimes it’s called the Philosophy of Success or Quantum Metaphysics. Sometimes it’s called religion. I simply think of it as something greater than me.

So, I reread The Secret. The first time it didn’t take. Apparently I missed a step, or two. (Hardy, har, har. I crack me up.) In rereading the book, one thing jumped out at me I had forgotten annoyed me the first time around. It’s the basic premise of The (so-called) Law of Attraction. This law states everything in your life, you’ve attracted. Bascially, you asked for it.  Consciously or unconsciously. The universe is going to give you what you ask for whether or not you know you’ve asked for it. Another tenet of this law is it doesn’t distinguish “don’t” or “not” or “no” and other words of negation. So according to The Secret, the universe eliminates certain words from the English language and only listens to the others. “I don’t want a bad haircut” becomes “I want a bad haircut”.

Really? Horse-kaka! While I believe in the basic premise of Ask, Believe and Receive I don’t buy the part about everything we ask for we get and everything we’ve gotten we’ve asked for. [Read more →]

I value privacy. I value mine. I value yours. I feel like some things we have are simply our own and should not have to be shared with the world. Some things should not have to be shared with even your closest loved ones. Your thoughts, beliefs, ideas, and emotions are yours. It should be your choice if you want to share them or not. I, on a fundamental and deeply rooted level, have always felt this.

However, when I really think about it, my regard for privacy has not served me the way I expected or wanted. In some ways it has hurt me. To exercise privacy requires the active withholding of some information. The upside is you prevent people from judging your every nook and cranny. Get out of there! This is why diaries used to have locks. But there is a downside to being private. Inevitably, the private person allows room for others to implant or supplement a false reality about you, your feelings, your abilities and your intentions where there is a lack of information. While many times this may have no consequence on your life, in many ways I’ve found it to be detrimental in my life. Especially in my personal relationships.

I’ve been called mysterious, sneaky, someone with an agenda, up to something and the like just because I did not wish to disclose every aspect of my life. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I am not mysterious or sneaky or anything else. I’m just private. My thoughts are mine, my ideas are mine, my feelings are mine. Mine! Mine! Mine! I do not wish to share it all. What I do share I feel is enough of a representation of me that you can get to know the “who” of who I am. With the things that I don’t share, I am just simply more comfortable having an internal dialogue with myself about those things. I don’t want you to know. Mind your business!

But here’s the thing. I know I’m fighting a losing battle. Privacy in this world is becoming elusive if not yet non-existent. We are living in a world moving toward being an open-book society.  [Read more →]