I Did Not Ask For Lemons

I have been really trying to get into this metaphysical thing. You know. The idea tha we are all connected. The idea there is a reality beyond what is perceptible to the our tangible senses. The idea we need only ask for what it is we want and we will receive it. Sometimes it’s called the Philosophy of Success or Quantum Metaphysics. Sometimes it’s called religion. I simply think of it as something greater than me.

So, I reread The Secret. The first time it didn’t take. Apparently I missed a step, or two. (Hardy, har, har. I crack me up.) In rereading the book, one thing jumped out at me I had forgotten annoyed me the first time around. It’s the basic premise of The (so-called) Law of Attraction. This law states everything in your life, you’ve attracted. Bascially, you asked for it.  Consciously or unconsciously. The universe is going to give you what you ask for whether or not you know you’ve asked for it. Another tenet of this law is it doesn’t distinguish “don’t” or “not” or “no” and other words of negation. So according to The Secret, the universe eliminates certain words from the English language and only listens to the others. “I don’t want a bad haircut” becomes “I want a bad haircut”.

Really? Horse-kaka! While I believe in the basic premise of Ask, Believe and Receive I don’t buy the part about everything we ask for we get and everything we’ve gotten we’ve asked for. In the book one of the contributors talks about how he always lines up the great parking spaces because he asks the universe for great parking spaces.  By deduction, he is saying if you are pessimistic about getting a great parking spot you will get a lousy parking spot.

Well today, when I was parking in a downtown Newark, NJ parking garage, I was cursing the architects and engineers  who built this thing because I just knew I wasn’t going to get a good spot. Thus by The (so-called) Law of Attraction, I should have gotten a lousy parking spot. Well, I did not. I got the best spot in the entire garage. Right by the entrance to the building I was going into. Sometimes, you just get what you get.

This one aspect of The Law of Attraction - everything you have asked for you attract and everything you attracted, you’ve asked for - is a bunch of bullshit (Oops, no cursing here. I mean B.S. or bull-ish). Trust me. There is a bunch of stuff going on in my life that I did NOT ask for. But it came along with some other stuff I DID ask for.

I asked the universe for there to be a black/brown/woman President of the United States in my lifetime. It gave it to me. But I did not ask for a near depression, the world-wide freezing of the banking/lending system and two wars in foreign lands against an elusive enemy to provide the impetus for this president’s election.

I asked for a relationship filled with love, passion and fun with a woman who was nurturing, energetic, gorgeous and shared my interests. The universe answered. In her, the universe brought me someone who gave me and was all those things. She was and is very easy to love. But damn! She is flawed, as we all are. Alas, the universe also gave me someone impossible to be in a relationship with. At least the kind I envision.

I asked the universe for my weekend-only barber to be available during the week because it was more convenient for me. The universe delivered. My barber is now available during the week. But I didn’t ask the universe for my barber to lose his regular, benefit-paying, unionized job with DHL to make it all possible. Or for him to take up barbering full-time only to change to another shop 30 miles from my house… because it was more convenient for him.

What The Secret misses is there is a ying-and-yang to this asking the universe for what you want mumbo jumbo. You cannot have hot without cold. You cannot have high without low. Good without evil. Happy without sad. Coke without Sprite. Love without hate. Life without death. The universe as far as I see it demands balance. The universe also demands randomness. Sometimes, stuff just happens and it’s out of your control. Sometimes you get what you didn’t ask for, good and bad. So, to say I asked, or anyone asks, for B.S. in their life is, well, B.S. I did not ask for some of the things in my life. I did not ask for lemons, but I damn sure got ‘em.

For those of you who’ve read this far please don’t think I’m poo-pooing the entirety of Law of Attraction. I’m not. I just think about it differently. Do I think you/we are at the mercy of the universe? No. We can influence the outcomes through our thoughts and actions. We just cannot determine outcomes. But to even influence outcomes we need to build on Ask, Believe, Receive. At least three steps should be added. It should be:

1. Ask
2. Believe
3. Work Your Ass Off
4. Persist At Working Your Ass Off
5. Receive
6. When You Get Lemons (’cause you will get lemons), Make Lemonade

I’ve gotten my fair share of lemons lately. I won’t tell you how long lately is. It’s been a while. When it’s all said and done though, I’m not deterred. The next chapter of my life is about change, change for the better. It’s about going after what I want. The love of my family, my babies, JEM, my friends; wealth in both material and spiritual form; health both in body and mind and ultimately happiness for me and those I touch. It’s about making the life I want and making some sweet sweet lemonade along the way!