Love Jones, Lions and Loyalty

The other day I told you I would be real-er and honest-er. I want those who come to this site to have a good idea of who I am. In attempting to be more open-book, I imagine in some instances I will be toeing the line of making a fool out of myself. But everybody plays the fool sometimes. There is no exception to this rule. (Hmm, that sounds familiar.)

I am not saying I want you to know me so well that we have to be BFFs or anything. But I think when you read you should offered the context of me. Of course you will not get it all in one sitting. I can’t go that deep. I can give you a little something. In terms of subject matter, there are three places I can start. Things I’d really rather not tell but would rather it be me than someone else, things you should know about me and things I’d like you know about me. So I put together this quick, preliminary list.

I absolutely, positively and wholeheartedly love these two ladies with all my heart and soul.

The Babies

I am not foolhardy enough to think my relationship with each of them will always be happy-go-lucky. I know plenty of grown women who are estranged from their fathers for one reason or another. I hope The Babies and I are spared this fate. 

I won’t always understand them and they will not always understand me. They will not always like me. I hope they will each forgive my past, present and future f’ups and foibles. One thing is for certain, I’m going to work my rear end off to always let them know I love them and would do anything for each of them no matter if we’re together or apart or wherever else our lives lead each of us.

I smoked marijuana when I was 17 years old and never touched it again. I didn’t get what the big deal was. I have never done any other illegal drugs, I don’t smoke and I rarely drink alcohol. I have to admit though I think smoking and drinking are kinda cool looking. I defy anyone to tell me Humphrey Bogart wasn’t smooth as silk in every movie he ever did. He was chain-smoking and binge-drinking in every one of those movies. Legend has it he was smoking and drinking like it was going out of style in his personal life too. Apparently, it’s what contributed to his death. He was probably smooth as silk in the coffin too. Yeah, I think I’ll continue to stay away from the drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

I have been arrested twice for unpaid parking tickets. I have worn the orange jump suit and everything. It was horrible. It was my own dang fault. There is no overnight parking on the streets in my town. But laziness and defiance got me locked up for a night (the first instance was just a few hours). I won’t go into details but a battle of attrition ensued over a long period between my ex and myself over who was going to move the cars off the street. She won most of the time as my car was usually the one getting the ticket.

I am a bibliophile. I own at least 1,000 books, have read most of them in their entirety and the others partially. Half are on the subjects of investing and personal finance.

I am afraid of moths and only slightly more afraid of lions. I’m the first one to admit some of my fears aren’t rational. Moths freak me out. They’re furry and they fly erratically. If one gets on you and you brush it off they leave like this crazy moth dust. I have no idea what that stuff is but it’s disgusting. Once i saw a microscopic picture of one. Moths are without argument the ugliest creatures on earth. I hate moths.

Lions though are a different story. They scare me for different reasons. I have had several dreams over the years featuring lions. Don’t ask. I have never had the dreams analyzed. Maybe I should. In each dream though, the lions were always one step from having me for dinner. For some reason, in the dreams, my fear seems only slightly more pronounced with the lions than it is with moths. Go figure.

I’m a ride-or-die-guy. I am extremely loyal and value this trait in others. Have my back and I will definitely have yours. You don’t have wonder if I’ll be there for you. I will. Some have said to a fault. If it’s a fault, I’ll live with it. I like this about me.

That’s enough for now.

Update (June 1, 2009):

In the quest to strike the correct balance of being open, telling too much and protecting others I’ve decided to delete one of the above items (formerly shown). There was a turn for the better in a personal relationship of mine that I do not want to undermine by what I published here. I struggled with this and actually sat on this decision for a month. My decision to remove the piece of information was not necessarily to protect me. There wasn’t much more damage that could have been caused from the “public” knowing. In the end my decision to remove it was more about protecting someone else. Many of you have already read this post in the original form, so you have that one bit of information. Can’t take that back. But going forward it’s simply better to keep that one close to the vest.