25 Random Things… The BPC Version

Flickr by lilybdcsa

I thought I’d take this “25 Random Things…” meme I’ve been getting from a bunch of my friends and put a BPC twist on it.

1. When Chocolate Thunda (my 3-year-old daughter) curses like a sailor (so far it’s just “sh#t” and “f*ck”) I have to hide my face in a pillow or look away because it’s hilarious to me.
2. Being called “Dad” or “Daddy” is about the best thing in life I can think of but hearing it 30 times in less than 5 minutes makes me want to pull my hair out… what’s left of it.
3. I know all the Top 40 hits because I can’t listen to hip-hop in my car anymore.
4. Thing One (my 8-year-old daughter) was being followed by two boys, probably about 10-years-old each, on bikes the end of last summer while the two of us were walking to a movie. I finally asked what they wanted, one got scared and rode away and the other said quickly and loudly to my daughter “You have pretty hair!” Then he high-tailed it. They must have seen the steam coming from my ears. NOT UNTIL SHE’S 21 PUNKS!!!
5. I don’t believe in spanking but I raise my voice way too often.
6. I hate playdates!
7. T-One is smarter (and tougher) than me and C-Thunda is tougher (and smarter) than me.
8. I have cried more since I turned 30 years-old than I did in the 30 years prior to that. Having daughters will make you sensitive.
9. Sons are so overrated. “Sigh”.
10. My stomach aches when they go back to their mom’s on her visitation time.
11. I know how to wash, condition, wet-set, braid, cornrow, flatten and curl.
12. I wish my daughters liked me as much as they like Blooregard Q. Kazoo.
13. Everything I know about parenting I learned from my parents and the Huxtibles! I’ll never forget the episodes when Rudy got her period, when Theo wanted to move out and Heathcliff taught him a finance lesson using monopoly money and when Vanessa brought home Dabness “on a garbage can lid”.
14. I never lie to my daughters but I might delay the conversation. I’m not ready to answer “Dad, what’s masturbation?” in the middle of the Transformers movie.
15. I always call my fellow dads and ask “What would you do?”
16. I saw a woman, who was huge by the way, beat the crap out of her child once and felt like I should confront her and didn’t. I cried later because I felt like a coward.
17. I joined the PTA to be informed but I’m feeling like I don’t need to be that informed.
18. Family court sucks!! Avoid it at all costs.
19. Small children serve as convenient weights. In a pinch I’ll lift them for a quick workout.
20. T-One wants me to get married. I’m trying my best to de-program her. I’ve let her watch too many romantic comedies.
21. Most of my child having men friends are getting vasectomies. Hmmm.
22. C-Thunda still gives me as many kisses as I want but T-One announced she would hold my hand when crossing the street only until she turned 10 years-old, then it’s over. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.
23. I love snowdays because I don’t have to get the girls ready in the morning and can sleep an extra hour.
24. The only thing keeping me from having 15 children is money, time, a willing partner and a desire to keep most of my hair. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy” every other minute 15 times over? I’m happy with my two.
25. Being a parent is friggin’ awesome but it’s tough. I personally couldn’t do it (well) without the help of my immediate and extended family. Thanks!