Comments on: Protecting the Fragile Self Image http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/2009/01/23/protecting-the-fragile-self-image/ The Rewards of Fatherhood, Fitness and Frugality Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:08:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Ginger http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/2009/01/23/protecting-the-fragile-self-image/comment-page-1/#comment-3601 Ginger Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:04:06 +0000 http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/?p=3#comment-3601 Our history is tragic, yet triumphant! When my son was 11 or 12 he was profiled outside the corner Pack-a-Sack. Imagine--your 5th grade honor student being interrogated by the township police, while waiting on his friend inside the store. Just because (you can fill in the blank :). He didn't quite understand our outrage. When my son was 21 he was given the opportunity to vote for a black man as President of the United States. It was first time voting in a presidential election. He didn't quite understand our joy. (I am cheesing as I write this!) Situations will present themselves, organically, that will push you to provide your daughters with your take on our complex history and it's legacy. Be glad--our history is a beautiful one of strength, perserverance and overcoming. Thank you Dr. King! And, thank you for your post and that excerpt--it's an excellent reminder of why Dr. King deserves our remembrance. Our history is tragic, yet triumphant!
When my son was 11 or 12 he was profiled outside the corner Pack-a-Sack. Imagine–your 5th grade honor student being interrogated by the township police, while waiting on his friend inside the store. Just because (you can fill in the blank :). He didn’t quite understand our outrage.
When my son was 21 he was given the opportunity to vote for a black man as President of the United States. It was first time voting in a presidential election. He didn’t quite understand our joy. (I am cheesing as I write this!)
Situations will present themselves, organically, that will push you to provide your daughters with your take on our complex history and it’s legacy. Be glad–our history is a beautiful one of strength, perserverance and overcoming. Thank you Dr. King!
And, thank you for your post and that excerpt–it’s an excellent reminder of why Dr. King deserves our remembrance.

]]> By: Mikyle http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/2009/01/23/protecting-the-fragile-self-image/comment-page-1/#comment-3600 Mikyle Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:32:38 +0000 http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/?p=3#comment-3600 I have 5 minutes before the next patient walks in, so I can't say all that I want to say. As I was reading what you were writing, I thought about the fact that my Jewish friends do not contemplate telling their kids about the holocaust...I think it is all in the way that you talk to you children. Our history is our history, the good and the bad. It is the struggle that makes many of us strive - we should never forget to pass on the story of why we can do the things we can do today. And don't forget, it can be argued...has all that Martin and Malcom fought for really come to fruition yet. We can't get comfortable because Barack made it, and neither should our children. For every Barack Obama, there are at least 10 Pat Robertson's and our children need to be informed of all that we can do in the face of racism and in spite of the hatred. I have 5 minutes before the next patient walks in, so I can’t say all that I want to say. As I was reading what you were writing, I thought about the fact that my Jewish friends do not contemplate telling their kids about the holocaust…I think it is all in the way that you talk to you children. Our history is our history, the good and the bad. It is the struggle that makes many of us strive – we should never forget to pass on the story of why we can do the things we can do today. And don’t forget, it can be argued…has all that Martin and Malcom fought for really come to fruition yet. We can’t get comfortable because Barack made it, and neither should our children. For every Barack Obama, there are at least 10 Pat Robertson’s and our children need to be informed of all that we can do in the face of racism and in spite of the hatred.

]]> By: H.S. Reed, Jr. http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/2009/01/23/protecting-the-fragile-self-image/comment-page-1/#comment-4 H.S. Reed, Jr. Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:25:33 +0000 http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/?p=3#comment-4 Ben, I feel your plight brother. A couple years ago I gave my niece a book about Malcolm. It was a biography written for children that I gave her because she saw a poster of Malcolm that I had up on my wall and began asking me about him. Back in December, I asked her a question about Malcolm and she couldn't answer it, so I took her to Barnes & Noble and bought her her own copy of "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" and tasked her to read it. The schools are always going to teach our kids about Martin because historically Martin was not deemed a threat. I believe that as black parents we need to fill that void and make things balanced for them. Next on my niece's reading list ... "Dreams of my Father" by (President) Barack Obama Ben,

I feel your plight brother. A couple years ago I gave my niece a book about Malcolm. It was a biography written for children that I gave her because she saw a poster of Malcolm that I had up on my wall and began asking me about him.

Back in December, I asked her a question about Malcolm and she couldn’t answer it, so I took her to Barnes & Noble and bought her her own copy of “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” and tasked her to read it.

The schools are always going to teach our kids about Martin because historically Martin was not deemed a threat. I believe that as black parents we need to fill that void and make things balanced for them.

Next on my niece’s reading list …
“Dreams of my Father” by (President) Barack Obama

]]> By: Janet http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/2009/01/23/protecting-the-fragile-self-image/comment-page-1/#comment-1 Janet Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:56:24 +0000 http://bigpieceofchicken.com/blog/?p=3#comment-1 This is a really insightful, emotive piece, Ben. I probably shouldn't attempt to intelligibly comment on this at 12:30am! However, you ask a really important question-does Thing One really need to know the history of African American people-the degradation; the errant injustice in treatment, perception, conception, of people whose only "fault" was one they had no control over-the color of their skin. I've pinballed through a myriad of thoughts and feelings in regards to our history and my lack of knowledge of it. We, my sisters and myself, always grew up being told that we were African-American. However, most of the resentment or negative vibes we experienced, in terms of race, were from our brothers and sisters because we were light-skinned. We were perceived as stuck up and "not really black". I don't know if this is why I have never really thought in terms of race, of "defining" myself as an African-American or if it's just me being me. But, as I've aged, I've realized a connection with "my people", in general, that is inarticulate. Of couse, I have connections with people from all races and backgrounds, but this is different. And I would go so far to say, that a lot of that has to do with where we came from and the struggle that our ancestors endured and overcame. I think this struggle is such an underlying part of who we are and is so ingrained in the fabric that weaves us together that we feel it and know it without having to acknowledge it all of the time. It just is. And I think that that energy is something that is applicable to any group of people who have struggled or are connected to a struggle. Maybe Thing One doesn't have to know about the past right now, maybe only in easily digestible bits at this point in her early life, but it may make her life that much more rich and her purpose that much more certain. Or maybe not. I think, as a parent, the goal is to teach your kids what you think will benefit them, but, at some point, know and accept that they will use the knowledge or decide that it isn't beneficial to them. I think you feel strongly about imbibing her with her ancestral history and, that's ok. Does this make any sense or did I just babble for half an hour!!?? This is a really insightful, emotive piece, Ben. I probably shouldn’t attempt to intelligibly comment on this at 12:30am! However, you ask a really important question-does Thing One really need to know the history of African American people-the degradation; the errant injustice in treatment, perception, conception, of people whose only “fault” was one they had no control over-the color of their skin. I’ve pinballed through a myriad of thoughts and feelings in regards to our history and my lack of knowledge of it. We, my sisters and myself, always grew up being told that we were African-American. However, most of the resentment or negative vibes we experienced, in terms of race, were from our brothers and sisters because we were light-skinned. We were perceived as stuck up and “not really black”. I don’t know if this is why I have never really thought in terms of race, of “defining” myself as an African-American or if it’s just me being me. But, as I’ve aged, I’ve realized a connection with “my people”, in general, that is inarticulate. Of couse, I have connections with people from all races and backgrounds, but this is different. And I would go so far to say, that a lot of that has to do with where we came from and the struggle that our ancestors endured and overcame. I think this struggle is such an underlying part of who we are and is so ingrained in the fabric that weaves us together that we feel it and know it without having to acknowledge it all of the time. It just is. And I think that that energy is something that is applicable to any group of people who have struggled or are connected to a struggle. Maybe Thing One doesn’t have to know about the past right now, maybe only in easily digestible bits at this point in her early life, but it may make her life that much more rich and her purpose that much more certain. Or maybe not. I think, as a parent, the goal is to teach your kids what you think will benefit them, but, at some point, know and accept that they will use the knowledge or decide that it isn’t beneficial to them. I think you feel strongly about imbibing her with her ancestral history and, that’s ok. Does this make any sense or did I just babble for half an hour!!??

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